Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Its the little things

that mean the most. im sitting here missing chris like crazy. its the little things that make it hard i miss that durring the night he would roll over and give me a kiss on the nose. that he would tuck me in if i kicked off the sheets or blankets. that if i was in the shower he would make sure i had a towl and the doors half closed. i miss the way he sings bubbly lol it makes us both roll around in fits of laughter . most of all i miss his smell you know the man smell. not the gross dirty smell. the chris smell. the one thats starting to fade from his pillows:( i know he will be back soon i just miss him like crazy , i know alot of people think that by now i shouldve left him but you see he is my best mate as well we dont just love each other his my soul mate he knows me better then anybody else. he can look into my eyes and know whats wrong i dont even have to speak a word.anywayz enough rambling about chris i havent scrapped in a while to much has happened here . i saw my grandfather this week and oh my he nearly brought tears to my eyes he has lost so much weight and his eyes his eyes have given up the fight thats the worst part. his stopped fighting. He has been sick for a long time he suffers from ephisma. heart problems and severe stomach problems to the point most days are spent vomiting. he has 9 stints in his heart next step is bypass surgery and with his stomach well the more they touch it the worse it gets scare tissue is tighening his stomach and slowly making it impossible. appart from removing it and giving him a bag there is nothing they can do except give him valium to stop the vomiting. which makes him emotional. im so scared about what i will do without him i really am his alllways been there even when things where bad and i was not a good person he always took the time to tell me how proud he was of me and how much i meant to him. what will i do when his not here.

to happier stuff friday i will have a new cousin well my aunty gets induced then if she doesnt go earlier lol. poor thing was due on my birthday and she is way over now.

that drove down my street you seriously made aidens day when you waved and put the lights on . i have seen a bigger grin on that kids face he was so proud and loved it so much thank you for taking the time to make his day cause it also made mine

well if your still reading thanks. lol its a lot of dribble tonight. my rak is going til friday and there is more to offer then what is in the pics :P


sweetness said...

that is the sweetest blog post *hugs*

big hugs for missing Chris. i feel the same way about my ex a lot of the time, especially recently.

and sorry to hear about your grandfather *hugs*